Samedi 23 janvier 6 23 /01 /Jan 19:48

Myth: your penis isn’t part of you. /déni de bite 2 !

c'est vrai que le mien  fait ce qu'il veut : plein de caprices : bander, débander... 

 photo envoi de Bastien :

PERTE SLIP

 

 

 

Small Penis SyndromeSmall Penis Syndrome (SPS) is a psychological disorder where the male affected has excessive concern and a preoccupation that his penis is small when actually they have a medically normal, average sized penis. SPS isn’t the official term used in the DSM-V that is used to diagnose psychiatric and psychological illnesses of this sort.  The term more commonly used is Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), but this term has a much broader application that includes a multitude of body defects.Men with truly small penises (under 5″ erect length) often suffer BDD as well, and may perceive their penises as smaller than they actually are, and perseverate on their small size as a more important aspect of their life than it actually is. Small Penis Syndrome can cause psychological distress, impairs occupational or social functioning, emotional depression, severe anxiety, and social withdrawal or isolation. That’s why men who suffer from it need to seek proper medical treatment. The media equate a man’s penis size with his power and masculinity. Views about penis size were assessed in an Internet survey of 52,031 heterosexual men and women. Most men (66%) rated their penis as average, 22% as large, and 12% as small. Self-reported penis size was correlated positively with height and negatively with body fat level. Whereas 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s penis size, only 55% of men were satisfied with their penis size, 45% (almost half of men in the survey) wanted to be larger, and 0.2% wanted to be smaller. Satisfaction did not vary across age groups from 18 to 65.Despite 85% of female partners reported being perfectly happy with their husbands/partners penis size, men still grapple with feelings of inadequacy. Of the 15% of women who reported they weren’t happy with their partners penis size they said it was because the penis in question was either too big (it hurt) or a micropenis (less than 3″ erect). Proving that a lot of penis related anxiety is purely psychological. Risk Factors for men developing SPS:• A history of past emotional and physical abuse• A significantly smaller flaccid penis compared to others, even though erect length is average• A history of genitalia teasing from prepubescent age onwards. Overall, a poor attachment as a child, general teasing, and specific teasing about penis size can combine to make “a perfect storm” of risk factors for SPS.• Initial sexual experiences are negative.• Men on the lower side of average erect length have a higher vulnerability to developing SPS.• Comparing flaccid penis (especially as a teen) to fathers and older brothers/peers.• Being a late bloomer (meaning puberty starts at a later age) so his penis seems smaller than his peers during an impressionable age.• Poor sex education• Unrealistic examples of penises and sex represented in pornography.• Someone deliberately being mean (bullying) about penis size to a man who’s vulnerable to having SPS.The Need for Statistical EducationThe men who have written us about their small penises who have compared themselves against statistical data have not always been careful about which data sets they have chosen to compare themselves against, and in some cases have made statistical errors such as failing to take into account the “cloudy” or probabilistic nature of sampling distributions as they came to their conclusions. It is possible that this tendency towards misinterpretation is due to a lack of knowledge about statistics and/or proper research design techniques, neither of which are widely taught subjects.  Recent research still lists results that are at odds with other studies.  Most current research estimates “average” to be between 5.18 and 5.9 inches in length when erect.  But there are other studies that fall outside that range.  The Need for Real World ExperienceIn light of the fact that many of the men suffering with SPS report few sexual encounters, it is important to recognize the need for real world experiences in the area of sexuality. In other words, these men need to get out and date; to talk to their partners and listen to what they have to say. Men need to be careful to avoid dismissing what they are hearing when what they hear disagrees with their preconceived notions.  Men with SPS expect to hear criticisms and put downs, and they may actually find reasons to dismiss anything positive a partner has to say. I say this because psychologically we tend to look for evidence to support what we already believe and dismiss evidence in conflict with our prejudices. Finally, a variety of experiences with different sexual partners might help men better appreciate the variety and types of partners who are actually out there. One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch, girl. In essence, psychologists often recommend a form of exposure therapy. Only through direct experience will some men be able to learn that sexual partners are not all castrating and hostile, or dominantly focused on penis size when it comes to sexuality.Please understand I am not being casual about making this recommendation. I understand that there is a tremendous fear of rejection, and that actual social phobia may be present. I understand that a lot of anxiety is likely to be present which will interfere with the process of dating or just talking. Nevertheless, getting out there is going to be an absolutely vital part of working this issue through. You cannot appreciate that you’ve made a mistake by avoiding sex until you’ve taken the risk to talk to many sexual partners and have experienced first hand that many of them will not reject you.  This means putting yourself at risk of rejection.  But think of it this way, keeping yourself safe by avoiding sexual activity because of your self deprecating thoughts brings your far more suffering than a few real life rejections.  While a few partners might reject you, you are already rejecting yourself every day.  As this process of dating can be difficult for people who are very anxious about it, we recommend that professional help be sought. The best type of therapy for social anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps people to identify and correct thought distortions and biases, teaches self-assertion (to help men better persevere in the dating process) and assists socially anxious men in coping with those rejections which will inevitably occur (regardless of penis size), among other helpful outcomes.Put Pornography in PerspectiveMy hunch is that some of the distorted ways of thinking about male and female sexuality that manifest in Small Penis Syndrome may stem from the fact that many of the men who have this problem have exposed themselves to a lot of pornography. One of the many problems related to pornography is that it misrepresent what human sexuality is about; replacing intimacy and love with simple and raw sex.  Not everyone has movie star good looks, and not every man is hung like a porn star.  Do car chases in real life look like the ones in movies?  Do fight scenes in real life look like the ones in movies and wrestling on television? NO!  They are intended for entertainment, not to represent reality! The porn industry also tends to be populated by male actors with larger than average genitalia who aren’t shy about using enhancement drugs to prolong the size and duration of their erections. Viewers should also remember that movies are like magicians–a lot of misdirection can happen in the editing room.  And then you have to remember that these porn stars are acting.  Even video selfies posted by amateurs are always going to present them at their best!  There are a lot of sexual behaviors (such as anal sex) that are far more common in pornography.  Most men reach orgasm much more rapidly than in porn flicks.  Porn stars are hired for the role they have to fill.  Producers are not looking for men with small cocks who cum quickly and dribble when they shoot.  They are hiring big cocks with studly attitudes who last a while and shoot like Old Faithful.  It is certainly the dominant attitude within pornography that when it comes to penis size, bigger is always better. That is not necessarily always the case in the regular world. Without condemning pornography, which seems to have its firmly fixed place in society, we want to make clear to men with Small Penis Syndrome that it is vital to recognise that these biases and distortions exist in pornography, and that it is not wise to apply the standards of beauty and performance and the value systems present pornography to your own life. Anyone who tries to do so will likely feel incompetent.Because porn is unable or unwilling to film lovemaking (intimate sex), men who get most of their sexual education from porn fail to realize that for many many men and women, the actual act of sexuality is ultimately valued less for its capacity to create an orgasm, and more for the intimacy to be found therein. This becomes more the case, we suspect, as people get older, but it is true for a great many young people as well. We recommend that men who watch a lot of porn and who suspect that they may be suffering in part because of this take an adult sex education class so as to help them gain a better perspective on what normal sexuality is actually about.Explore Coping Strategies to Gain Better Peace of MindWhen rigidity of thought is high, as seems to be the case with some frequency with regard to Small Penis Syndrome, it is very difficult for a men deeply entrenched in his distorted beliefs to seriously entertain the possibility that he just might be contributing to his own problems through cognitive biases and distorted self perception. It seems all too clear to such men that he is doomed; that he can never be an acceptable man to any acceptable partner, and that because of this, he might just as well commit suicide. To such a man I say, don’t bother with the advice I’ve given above. Before considering suicide, consider that this is the last possible option you will ever get to choose.  Before electing your final option, ask yourself if you have exhausted every other option first. There are so many options available to you i can’t begin to list them, but figuring prominently is getting yourself a life coach to advise you.  Alcoholics anonymous is quite accurate when they speak to a power outside yourself.  Whether it is a god, a friend, a priest, a support group, a sponsor, or a counselor.  Find someone to talk to.  it is unlikely you will work your way through this problem alone and without support from someone.  What you also need to do is to work on self-acceptance. You are so embedded in the problem that you have no perspective to look at it from any other point of view. What is needed for you is to help you pry yourself out of the problem enough to give you that room to maneuver.Mindfulness meditation is one of the most powerful and safest techniques available to help people disentangle themselves from cognitive prison. In mindfulness meditation you learn to simply become aware of the continual stream of thoughts, perception and judgments that flow through your mind, and you learn that you are are not the same thing as the content of those thoughts, but rather that which has the thoughts. This is sometimes called the “witness” consciousness. It is a non-judgmental mental space that can be cultivated by anyone. In the embedded state, the thought-haver and the thought are fused, but mindfulness meditation helps open a space between the haver and the thought. Mindfulness meditation is originally part of an ancient religious tradition originated by Buddhists and going back thousands of years. Today it is being incorporated into western mainstream psychotherapy as an effective coping strategy for helping people cope with life stress and extreme emotional mood swings. As you learn to detach yourself and take up the witness consciousness, you become able to view your thoughts more objectively and ultimately gain a better ability to critically examine them. toi je t'ai pas parlé, ferme-la... 

 

 

Mythe : est-il vrai que vous pouvez croire que votre pénis ne fait pas partie de vous ?

Ah bon !  allons, c'est vrai ! votre pénis ne ferait pas partie de vous ! 

 

il pourrait être un personnage distinct de vous, avec ses humeurs et ses caprices  

 Bien qu'ils disent MA bite MA queue... beaucoup  d'hommes décrivent leurs pénis comme des outils qu'ils utilisent : soit des cannes à pêche, des tiges, des marteaux, des épées, ou des bâtons à baiser… c'est ça l'idée. La langue est violente - pensez au vieil euphémisme pour la masturbation masculine, "battre la viande" ou "crache ou je t'étrangle"!    

Mais nos pénis ne nous appartiennent pas,  juste ils font partie de nous. Ils révèlent une vérité de nous, qui sommes aussi : vulnérables et spongieux plus souvent que rigides, étonnamment doux au toucher,  doués de sentiments - et de don généreux - autant suceptibles de grand plaisir que de grande douleur. Ils ne fonctionnent pas toujours sur commande. Les médicaments et les drogues peuvent changer complètement leur comportement. Nous ne pensons pas avec nos pénis, mais ils "sont inextricablement la partie" de nous : imparfait, plein de défauts, aussi puissant que vulnérable, mais beau.

Peu importe la taille.

 

  allez-vous me croire ? cet "individu", à mon âge , prend déjà beaucoup de place !  (dans ma tête surtout !)

Arenita Playita!.

 

 

  USA :      

Myth: your penis isn’t part of you.
Too many men describe their penises as tools they use: rods, shafts, hammers, swords, fuck sticks … you get the idea. The language is violent—think of the old euphemism for male masturbation, “beating the meat” or “choking the chicken“! But our penises don’t just belong to us, they are part of us. They reveal a truth about us, too: vulnerable and squishy more often than rigid, surprisingly soft to the touch, capable of feeling—and giving—both great pleasure and great pain. They do not always perform on command. Drugs can alter how they behave. We don’t think with our penises, but they are—inextricably—part of us: flawed, powerful, vulnerable, beautiful. No matter what the size.

 

FIVE MYTHS ABOUT PENIS SIZEGoogle “penis myths” and you get over 2.2 million results. That tells you something about the power and pervasiveness of half-truths and outright lies about the male sex organ. But some of those myths are more damaging than others.  There is an entire multi-million dollar industry based on men’s insecurities about size.  In the interest of pleasure, of happiness, of education and fun let’s bust a few of the top myths!1. Myth: The penis is a muscle. This myth gets peddled by those dudes who want to sell techniques for “strengthening” and lengthening the penis. But in fact, the penis isn’t a muscle. It’s a collection of spongy tissues that rely entirely on engorgement with blood to become erect. The most important muscle in terms of getting and sustaining a hard-on is the heart. Draw your own conclusions from that.  Some experts believe you can strengthen erections by building your kegel muscles (men and women have them). This involves repetitive squeezing, as if you’re holding back and then releasing urine. For men, strong kegels may help with premature ejaculation—and they may intensify orgasm.2. Myth: the average penis is seven inches long. Most straight men judge penis size based on two things: the flaccid penises they see in locker rooms, and the swollen erections of male porn stars. Neither is an accurate gauge of “averages.” Porn stars are, um, huge, at least for the most part. And the size of a penis when flaccid has nothing to do with the size of that same organ when erect. Two men could look identically sized when soft, and be dramatically different when erect. So the average American penis is … a little over five inches long when fully erect, pretty much ever recent study now estimates “average” between 5 and 6 inches with some variations reported among national studies.3. Myth: “A hard dick has no conscience.” I’m often asked whether erections take blood from the brain, thus inhibiting decision making. Though erections are indeed caused by blood flow into the penis, the body has more than enough blood to support the operation of every other organ during physical arousal. There is no scientific evidence that a hard-on impairs cognitive function. In other words, guys can’t justify assault or infidelity based on biology. A penis may have no conscience (flaccid or hard), but the moral center of the brain (the frontal lobe) does—and that moral center keeps right on working, no matter how turgid the erection. By the way: women get clitoral erections. But I’ve never heard anyone claim that a swollen clit has no conscience.4. Myth: size matters—or doesn’t matter. Many men are incredibly anxious about penis size. Usually, they’re anxious about penis length (see myth #3), and less focused on the equally important issue of penis girth. (Ask straight women and gay men with some experience, and they’ll assure you that width can be as important—or problematic—as length). While it is true that our pop culture seems to emphasize the value of a large penis, it hasn’t always been that way. The truth is that some people do prefer to have sex with someone who has a larger or a smaller penis, while others may not care at all. But even those who do have a preference will likely report that size matters, but is far from the only factor in great sex. Size matters, but so too do touch, smell, chemistry, dexterity, confidence, charisma, and countless other factors. Being “well-hung” is, in and of itself, no guarantee you’ll be a great lover.5. Myth: your penis isn’t part of you. Too many men describe their penises as tools they use: rods, shafts, hammers, swords, fuck sticks … you get the idea. The language is violent—think of the old euphemism for male masturbation, “beating the meat” or “choking the chicken“! But our penises don’t just belong to us, they are part of us. They reveal a truth about us, too: vulnerable and squishy more often than rigid, surprisingly soft to the touch, capable of feeling—and giving—both great pleasure and great pain. They do not always perform on command. Drugs can alter how they behave. We don’t think with our penises, but they are—inextricably—part of us: flawed, powerful, vulnerable, beautiful. No matter what the size.

 

inpraiseofsmallguys: Five Things You Don’t Know About Attractiveness Self-verification is a social psychological theory that asserts people want to be known and understood by others according to their firmly held beliefs about themselves, that is self-views (including self-concepts and self-esteem). To this end, people engage in a variety of activities that are designed to obtain self-verifying information.  In other words, we engage in self fulfilling prophecy, paying more attention to information that corroborates what we believe about ourselves, while rejecting information that is contrary to our self perceptions!  If you believe you will be rejected because of your small penis, then guess what you will discover in the world? The below facts will help you understand how people get attracted to each other so that you can see the real reality instead of seeing a one that matches your incorrect beliefs. •1) People evaluate the overall attractiveness: Most people will judge your overall attractiveness without getting much into details. For example they will consider your face attractive without paying much attention to how your nose looks like. This means that if you have few attractive features people will think that you are attractive even if you have some unattractive ones (See also Attractiveness perception psychology) •2) People focus on their weak points: So what about people who focus on certain facial features? Actually most people pay more attention to the features they are not satisfied with! This means that the short person will ignore your facial features and focus on your height while the obese person will forget about your height and focus on your weight. In short, while you are busy trying to hide the feature you dislike the other person will be busy comparing the feature he is not satisfied with to yours! (see also Why do we find some people attractive) •3) Clothes alter attractiveness perception: Your clothes and the way you dress alters the way people evaluate your attractiveness. An average looking person will appear much more attractive if he knew how to pick clothes that matches his looks (not necessary expensive ones). The subconscious mind considers clothes an extension to the body and that’s why they can be used to manipulate attractiveness perception. •4) Attractiveness perception is affected by the level of comfort: The more a person feels comfortable around you the more attractive he will find you! This means that if you gave attention to a person who needs attention or if you smiled to a person who wants others to care about him you will be considered more attractive! •5) One single feature can make you attractive: A man could be attracted to a woman because she has one attractive feature such as full lips of low waist to hip ratio while a woman can be attracted to a man just because he is tall or because he looks more masculine. This means that you should stop caring about your features you don’t like and focus on improving the ones you like!

 

What do you say to the man who is lacking inches? There is no reason you should throw a good guy to the curb just because he isn’t very blessed in the dong department. Here’s how to make it work in the sack when your man doesn’t have much of one.Never Mention It’s Small: If a guy has a small dick, he knows he has a small dick and telling him as such is just cruel. There is no need to mention remedies, pills, surgeries, exercises, or new forms of yoga that might give him some extra length. Actually, the fact that you never mention it will give him a boost of confidence, which is always good in the bedroom.  Studies show confidence has more impact on a man’s attractiveness than his penis size.Never Mention It’s Big: Even worse than saying it’s small is saying it’s big. It’s one thing to point out the obvious, but if you lie—and he’ll know you’re lying—then you’re just an untrustworthy person. Try Something New In The Bedroom: The truth is, while penis size is important to some people, it shouldn’t be something that makes or break your sex life. You may just need to try something different.  Getting fucked may not feel right to you as a partner if the guy is deficient below the belt. However—just like fat people learn to be funny and short people learn to be aggressive to get by in the world—guys with small dicks learn to compensate by focusing on other bedroom activities. Start with a lot of foreplay. Foreplay is always great before sex, but it’s even more important in this situation. It can be anything that turns both of you on, whether that’s doing stuff with your hands or oral sex. Just do it for longer than five or 10 minutes. When you’re actually having sex, try different positions. Most men with a small dicks can give amazing head, so just push his head under the covers and get off that way. But if he wants to stick it in you, you’re gonna have to let him. Unless he has learned some tantric technique it may not feel great, but it’s the price to pay for all that oral action.Take It to the Rear: There is more to sex than just oral and intercourse. Yes, think the back door! If you’re gay and your new man dick sufficiently large for anal penetration, then celebrate the moment!  Otherwise you’ll just always be on top. (Deal with it, there are worse things.) Take Charge:  Take an assertive role in your sex life, and let your partner know exactly what you like.  Learn what gets him off too.  Do Not Make Jokes:  Unless your partner enjoys Small Penis Humiliation humor (SPH) do not tease him about his situation.  Many men are very sensitive to criticism about their endowment and teasing will only make things worse.  Do you like to be teased about something YOU are very insecure about?  Don’t Cheat: Men with a small penises are already wondering if they are able to satisfy you.  If you scratch you itch with a bigger dick you will lose his trust forever and shatter his already fragile self esteem.  There is more to a relationship than penis size, just like there is more to sex than penile/anal or penile/vaginal interaction.  Find out what activities fulfill you and tell him.  Don’t be a cheater!Be Careful with Sex Toys: One obvious answer for compensating for a lover without many inches is getting a dildo or vibrator into the mix. While this is a fun and healthy part of sex with an average-to-large-sized man, it can be a total mood kill to less-endowed mates. For them, asking for a little plastic assistance is telling them what they already suspect deep down inside: that they’re not enough. What you need to do is find a way for him to suggest it. Then you can ride the battery train all the way to Climaxville.  Many men enjoy pleasing a partner with a sex toy.  If he can get into it, this can be a great option!If He Asks, Tell The Truth:  Relationships require honestly.  But the truth can be wielded as a weapon to hurt, rather than with empathy and kindness.  I know people who are brutally blunt and call themselves “truthfull”, you can be honest and cruel, or you can be honest and kind.  Focus on what works in your relationship.  Focus on your partner’s strengths rather than his shortcomings.  Make sure you express all your good feelings to keep the conversation positive and balanced.Inspire Confidence: One last thing: try to help your partner gain a little more confidence. If your partner knows he has a small penis, he could be focusing on that and worrying about it too much, which might turn down the heat under the sheets. Avoid getting too dramatic – just say things like, “you turn me on so much” or “do that, it feels amazing” (when it really does feel good). A lot of communication is great, as long as it doesn’t involve anything about the size of his penis. The more you make this a “big deal” in your own head, the more he will read your unconscious body language and subliminally react to what your putting out there. 

 

 

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  Une bite pour la vie place aux débutants...prévenons-les : c'est un long partenariat avec leur teub...comme un mariage.... 

 

   

 

  Posando su pene 

 

ça aussi c'est exigeant et impérieux :

Orinando en Casa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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